


New Years Means Nothing Without You

by TheYellowKoala



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Historical, Historical Hetalia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, New Years, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26092693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheYellowKoala/pseuds/TheYellowKoala
Summary: They should’ve been together in Kraków, celebrating and ringing in the new century together. It would’ve been the fifth one. The fifth time they would’ve done what became a tradition for them. Now, it seemed as if they would never ring in another century again.aka; Lithuania is getting ready to ring in the 19th century without Poland.Be prepared for a lot of angst, and maybe a little fluff. You'll have to read it to see.
Relationships: Lithuania & Poland (Hetalia), Lithuania/Poland (Hetalia)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	New Years Means Nothing Without You

**Author's Note:**

> A small angsty drabble that I wrote a while ago. I realized I haven't posted in a while so here, have some lietpol, as a treat.
> 
> This takes place on the eve of January 1st, 1800. So at this point, it would've been just over five years since the commonwealth was partitioned.
> 
> I don't own hetalia. I never have, I never will.

Tolys put the book in his hands back on the shelf. He had attempted to read it to distract himself, but he only managed to read three pages in an hour, which was an excruciatingly slow pace, especially for him. He sat back down in the chair in the corner of his room and rested his head in his hand, glancing up at the clock.

Eleven pm, it read. One hour until midnight. One hour until champagne bottles would be popped and cheers of joy would be heard from the living space below him. One hour until he would no longer be in the eighteenth century.

His ears perked up at the sound of a knock on the door.

“Come in!” He called. Hopefully it wasn’t Russia, he had already told him that he would rather skip the party, and would be upstairs cleaning instead. Maybe the last part wasn’t true at the moment, but still, there was no way Russia would know that.

The tension that had gathered in his shoulders instantly released when he saw Latvia poke his head through the door, amplifying the music below a little.

“Oh, Raivis,” He stood up, motioning for him to come in, “Did you need anything?”

“No, nothing in particular,” The younger nation stepped in, closing the door slightly, “Just wanted to let you know that it’s almost midnight, if you didn’t already know. You’re still welcome to come downstairs and join us.”

Tolys gave a small, polite smile. “I think I’ll stay up here.”

“Are you sure? You wouldn’t have to do any work.”

“I know, but I’m sure.” Tolys felt a pang of guilt at the way Latvia’s smile fell, before being replaced by another. In any other circumstances, he would’ve given in and gone down to join the party. But not tonight. He could barely fake a smile for Latvia, how was he supposed to do it for a bunch of strangers?

“Alright then,” Tolys tried not to notice the disappointment in his tone, “Happy new year.”

Tolys waved and went to say it back, but the words lodged in his throat, and no sound came out.

As soon as Latvia left he let his smile drop and his mask fall. He sat back down and let his eyes drift to the window. It was almost pitch black outside, the only thing illuminating the fresh snow was the yellow light coming from the lower levels and the moon.

He wondered what it was like outside. Was it bone-chilling cold, or the kind that refreshed your lungs whenever you took a breath? Was the snow frozen over on top with a thin layer of ice, or was it light and powdery? Unfortunately, there was only one way to find out, and Tolys wasn’t very keen on jumping out the window.

_“Liet!”_

_Tolys felt a tug on his arm and he was pulled away from the lovely family he was making conversation with._

_“Po! Where are you taking me?” he asked, although he probably wasn’t heard over the music from the orchestra and the chatter that filled the room. He stumbled along as they snaked their way through the crowds, stopping for a moment to put his drink on the table before he was pulled off again._

_Finally, they stopped in an empty hallway, the sounds from the party muffled and distant._

_“Po, what—”_

_Feliks turned around, effectively cutting him off, “Do you really wanna ring in the century with those losers?” Feliks paused, looking over his shoulder before imitating one of the party guests, “Oh! Look at me! I have so much money and I’m drunk! A new century you say? Pass the champagne while I brag to you about my flourishing business!”_

_Tolys snickered, “Yeah, you’re right.” It was getting quite boring in there anyway, as much as he loved listening to people talk about their multitude of successes, he would much rather spend the special occasion with Feliks. “Where were you thinking?”_

_“Well, I figured we couldn’t get out the front door without getting caught, so I brought…” Feliks dug behind a plant for a moment before pulling out what looked like a homemade rope ladder. “This!” he exclaimed, holding it up._

_Tolys stared at him in shock and disbelief. “Are you crazy? What if you get hurt?”_

_“Are you implying that I have more of a chance of getting hurt than you?”_

_Tolys’ smile dropped, “No no no, that’s not what I meant at all,”_

_Feliks only smiled back, “Calm down, I’m just messing with you,”_

_“And we won’t get hurt silly, we’re immortal,” he opened the window and started feeding the ladder over the side, “Besides, this is a once in a lifetime occasion!”_

_“Not for us,” Tolys pointed out._

_Feliks finished setting up the rope, checking the knots to make sure it was stable. “Please?” he pouted._

_Tolys grinned. Sure, maybe it wasn’t the most well thought out plan, but it would be fun. Anything was fun when he was doing it with Feliks. “Alright.”_

_Feliks jumped up slightly with joy and Tolys couldn’t help but grin wider. He made his way over to the ladder, sitting on the edge of the windowsill and swinging both legs over, placing one foot, then the other on the rungs of the ladder. He made sure not to miss any steps, eventually reaching the bottom._

_Unfortunately, it seemed that Feliks had underestimated the height of the window and there were about two metres between him and the ground. He hesitated for a moment before pushing himself off the ladder, landing on first his feet then falling back._

_“Come on!” He motioned for Feliks to come too, a grin plastered on his face._

_His smile faltered when Feliks didn’t immediately follow behind. “What’s wrong?” he shouted up._

_“Maybe… Maybe this wasn’t the best idea,”_

_Tolys frowned at his nervous tone, “Then why’d you decide to use a ladder?”_

_“I dunno!” Feliks got into a defensive position, “I guess I thought it would be cool. And I obviously underestimated height,” the last words were quieter and Tolys barely heard them._

_“Oh. Well, you don’t have to be scared,” he stood up from the snow, his shoes sinking in, “I’ll catch you!”_

_“I’m not scared! I’m just…”_

_“I’ll still be here to catch you,” Tolys smiled, knowing exactly how to get Feliks to come, “Not because you’re scared, but because I want to. It’ll make me feel better.”_

_“If you insist.”_

_Slowly, but surely, Feliks made his way over the edge of the window, sticking as close to it as he could. Tolys watched on, keeping his arms open and occasionally shouting up words assuring him that he would be alright._

_Eventually, Feliks made it to the last rung, clutching onto the rope for dear life._

_“You’re gonna have to jump, it doesn’t reach the bottom,” Tolys said._

_“No, no I don’t want to,” Feliks pulled himself closer to the ladder._

_“Come on, I’ll catch you, I promise,” Tolys stretched out his arms as far as they could go. Feliks pushed himself off the ladder and Tolys grabbed him, falling back into the snow as he took the brunt of the weight._

_He laid back in the snow and a grin spreading across his face, “See? That wasn’t so bad.”_

_“I’m never doing that again.”_

_Tolys laughed, “You never told me you were afraid of heights.”_

_“I’m not,” Feliks sat up, crossing his arms over his chest, “I just… don’t like them very much.”_

_“If you say so,” he said, his eyes focused on the stars above them. It seemed like there were more stars than blackness._

_Feliks groaned, “Come on, let’s go somewhere else before someone realizes we’re gone and comes looking for us.”_

_Tolys felt a tug on his arm and he was pulled up to his feet by Feliks. It was obvious that he was trying to seem tough, but Tolys could see the smile that ghosted his lips. He shifted his hold so he was holding Feliks’ hand and followed behind, his feet sinking into the powdery snow with every step._

_All of a sudden, Tolys was pulled to the side, tripping over the snow and pushed against a wall by Feliks._ _  
__He opened his mouth to say something when Feliks turned around, a mischievous grin plastered on his face. “Watch this,” he said, his voice just above a whisper._

_Tolys watched as Feliks bent over, gathering a ball of snow in his hand. He stayed still for a moment, his gaze calculating before he wound his arm back and chucked the snowball as hard as he could at the guard standing by the gate._

_Tolys slapped a hand over his mouth, trying to suppress a laugh. Feliks apparently was having the same difficulty, as he pointed at the guard, who was now fuming, charging forward in hopes of finding the culprit._

_Tolys couldn’t help but let out a couple of giggles as they made a b-line for the gate, stumbling over his own two feet. They managed to get out of the snow and on to the cobblestone path which made it much easier to run._

_They only stopped when they were a significant distance away from the gate, and that was when Feliks pulled him back off the path and into the snow._

_“See? This is much better,” Feliks commented._

_Tolys hummed in agreement, staring up at the sky. The snow reflected the dim light from the moon quite well, and although it wasn’t near bright enough to see very far, it was light enough for him. It was almost completely silent, the sounds of the party were long gone, replaced by the rustling of branches and the sounds of night._

_He was absorbed in his thoughts when something cold hit his neck, making him jump slightly. He brought a hand to his neck and looked down to see Feliks, who wasn’t too far away and doubled over laughing._

_Tolys took the opportunity as it came and made his own snowball, tossing it at Feliks and hitting him in the side. Tolys’ expression morphed into a grin when Feliks looked up in an oh-it’s-on manner._

_Tolys quickly realized what he was getting himself into and ducked at an incoming snowball, trying his best to make as many snowballs as he could through the fits of laughter that now filled the previous silence._

_He tossed three snowballs consecutively, only one hitting Feliks, whereas Feliks hit Tolys several times. He didn’t mind though, it was pure fun. Although—he snuck up behind Feliks, hitting him in the back twice—that didn’t mean there couldn’t be at least a little bit of competitiveness._

_Tolys’ eyes widened as he realized what Feliks was trying to do and he tried to run, although he didn’t get very far as he was impaired by laughter._

_He stiffened up as cold snow was shoved down his back, a stark contrast to the warmth that was there before._

_He grabbed a handful of snow and tried throwing it at Feliks and ultimately failed, instead losing his balance and falling against Feliks, taking him down with him._

_He rolled off of Feliks, struggling for breath through the laughter, the other struggling the same._

_He didn’t care that the snow was soaking through his clothes, or that it was probably too cold to be outside with so few layers on. No, none of that mattered. What mattered was that he was lying beside the most important person in the world, and they were going to ring in the new century together, hopefully, one that would bring them good fortune._

_He breathed in the crisp air, turning his head so he could see the way the light from the moon illuminated Feliks’ face, hitting him at all the right angles. Tolys really had lucked out._

_He looked back up at the sky, “Do you think it’s midnight yet?”_

_Feliks hummed, “I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not.” Tolys felt Feliks reach over to grab his hand and squeeze it, “Doesn’t really matter though, does it?”_

_Tolys shrugged, “Guess not.”_

_He wondered what the upcoming century would have in store for them. To be honest, he didn’t really have much of a preference. The only thing he knew he wanted was more nights like these. He wanted to ring in every new century from now on with Feliks by his side, hell, why not every new year in general? Sure, it might have been a tall order, but he would give anything to spend every single night lying in the snow with Feliks._

_He decided to voice his thoughts, “Do you think we’ll last forever?” Tolys knew it was unlikely, empires rose and fell, there was almost nothing you could do about it._

_Tolys turned his head to see Feliks grinning, “Oh I know we will.”_

_Tolys smiled, rubbing his thumb against Feliks’ knuckles and moving closer to him. Maybe, just maybe, they would be the exception._

Tolys swiped away a tear before it could fall. They, in fact, were not the exception. He was foolish to even let himself think they could be.

The memory of the first time they rang in the century was still fresh in his mind, like it had happened yesterday, but at the same time, it felt like a lifetime ago. Life was simple back then. They didn’t have to worry about other countries pressing in on them from all sides, squeezing them out of existence. He didn’t have to watch as his friend slowly faded from existence, too weak to do anything about it, but not weak enough to vanish himself. 

No, back then they were just allowed to coexist, spending hours in the fields staring at the sky, chattering on about whatever pleased them.

He sniffled, trying to blink back the tears that had formed in the front of his eyes. He didn’t want to cry, not right now.

He ran a hand through his hair. Any happy memory he had that involved Feliks only brought him temporary relief, before it was once again tainted by his death. By the fact that it was unlikely he would ever be able to make new memories with Feliks again.

He turned his attention away from the window and stared in front of him at nothing in particular. There seemed to be a shouting match going on downstairs. Had it not been in Russian, Tolys was fairly sure it sounded eerily similar to the protests that went on before they were completely dissolved.

_Tolys shut the window, trying to block out the sounds of the protests below. He grabbed his coffee off of the nightstand and took a sip before sitting at the end of the bed again, still waiting on Feliks to take his turn in the chess game they were playing._

_While the partitions had taken their toll on the both of them, it seemed like Feliks seemed to be taking the brunt of it. Today wasn’t a particularly good day, so Tolys suggested they stay inside and play some chess._

_Feliks finally moved his pawn after several minutes of thinking, which unfortunately left one of his knights open. He looked over the board, making sure there was nothing else he could do when Feliks spoke up._

_“Y’know, I think we’re gonna make it.”_

_“Hm?” Tolys hummed while moving his pawn to take Feliks’ knight._

_“I mean I think we’re gonna survive. We almost beat them before, who says we can’t do it again?”_

_Tolys looked up, “You could be right.”_

_“I know I’m right,” Feliks confirmed, before looking down, “Right?”_

_Tolys moved the chessboard to the side so he could scoot closer to Feliks. He took both of his hands and tried to meet his gaze, “Maybe, maybe not.” As much as he wanted to say that they would come back and be invincible again, he couldn’t guarantee it. “But, we’re tough.” He rubbed his thumb along Feliks’ knuckles, hoping to provide some sort of comfort._ _  
__“You think we’ll make it to the nineteenth century?”_

_Tolys let out a breath, “I think we will.”_

_Feliks looked up to meet Tolys’ gaze, “You promise?”_

_Such an innocent question. Yet at the same time, it held so much weight. Could he promise that? He wasn’t sure what to say. But those eyes, those bright green eyes that he could never get tired of looking into, he couldn’t say no to them._

_His voice came out just above a whisper, “I promise.”_

“I promised.”

He choked back a sob, covering his mouth with his hand so he wouldn’t make any noise. Any hope of keeping back the tears was long gone now, trails of salty tears snaked their way down his cheeks, he didn’t even bother trying to stop them. He noticed that he must’ve tucked his legs up at some point, because now he was curled up in a ball, trying to shrink down as small as he could and disappear.

They should’ve been together in Kraków, celebrating and ringing in the new century together. It would’ve been the fifth one. The fifth time they would’ve done what became a tradition for them. Now, it seemed as if they would never ring in another century again.

He hiccupped back another sob, his shoulders shaking. He promised. He promised Feliks they would make it, yet here he was, sitting alone in his room without Feliks.

Hey laid his head down on the armrest, wiping away some of the tears with the back of his hand. What could he have done so wrong to deserve such cruelty? What did Feliks ever do? What did Feliks ever do to deserve to be partitioned? 

Maybe it was the universe's way of telling him that good things never last. He knew that, yet it was so hard to accept that Feliks was really gone, and he was never coming back. He didn’t want to ring in another century, because that meant moving on. And moving on meant forgetting. He didn’t want to forget his bright green eyes, or how his voice sounded sweet as honey to his ears, or the hours they spent up, talking late into the night.

Tolys’ eyelids felt weighted and fluttered shut. He didn’t care if it was midnight yet or not, he didn’t want to see the century change, not if Feliks wasn’t there.

God, why him?

**Author's Note:**

> Told you there was no happy ending :)
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> I have some more drabbles that I've written for these two idiots (mostly historical), so let me know if you'd like to see them!


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